The Inbox Of Nardo Pace, The Empire's Worst Engineer 
Friday, December 14, 2007, 03:08 PM - blogFoo
Continuing in the Star Wars vein..


Subject Trash Compactor
From Death Star Detention Level Janitor <oldroscoe@empiremail.com>
Date A Long Time Ago 7:46 PM
To Nardo Pace <npace@empiremail.com>

Hey, kid. That trash compactor you designed is up and running and I've got to say it looks great. Lots of grime, a magnetically sealed hatch that can't be opened from the inside, a tentacled garbage creature that practically serves no purpose at all. It's got everything a salty old janitor could ever want.

One thing, though. It takes an awful long time to flatten garbage. I'm talking a minute or more, depending on how many flimsy poles I toss in there. If our capital ships can boogie at faster than light speeds, why can't we make a few walls slide toward one another at a speed that outpaces a Hutt's leisurely stroll?


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Uncomfortable Questions: Was the Death Star Attack an Inside Job? 
Friday, December 14, 2007, 03:07 PM

We’ve all heard the “official conspiracy theory” of the Death Star attack. We all know about Luke Skywalker and his ragtag bunch of rebels, how they mounted a foolhardy attack on the most powerful, well-defended battle station ever built. And we’ve all seen the video over, and over, and over, of the one-in-a-million shot that resulted in a massive chain reaction that not just damaged, but completely obliterated that massive technological wonder.


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A New Sith, or Revenge of the Hope 
Friday, December 14, 2007, 03:06 PM - blogFoo

Reconsidering Star Wars IV in the light of I-III



If we accept all the Star Wars films as the same canon, then a lot that happens in the original films has to be reinterpreted in the light of the prequels. As we now know, the rebel Alliance was founded by Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Bail Organa. What can readily be deduced is that their first recruit, who soon became their top field agent, was R2-D2.

Consider: at the end of RotS, Bail Organan orders 3PO's memory wiped but not R2's. He wouldn't make the distinction casually. Both droids know that Yoda and Obi-Wan are alive and are plotting sedition with the Senator from Alderaan. They know that Amidala survived long enough to have twins and could easily deduce where they went. However, R2 must make an impassioned speech to the effect that he is far more use to them with his mind intact: he has observed Palpatine and Anakin at close quarters for many years, knows much that is useful and is one of the galaxy's top experts at hacking into other people's systems. Also he can lie through his teeth with a straight face. Organa, in immediate need of espionage resources, agrees.



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If LotR Had Been Written By Someone Else!? 
Friday, December 14, 2007, 03:02 PM - blogFoo
Good ones in the comments:


"Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring!
I am too small to carry this thing!"

"I can not, will not hold the One.
You have a slim chance, but I have none.
I will not take it on a boat,
I will not take it across a moat.
I cannot take it under Moria,
that's one thing I can't do for ya.
I would not bring it into Mordor,
I would not make it to the border."

-excerpt from Dr. Suess's FOTR.


and


The King of the Nazgul (KotN) fingered the safety buckle that secured the shortsword in it's scabbard. It was modeled after the Gladius design, making it wholly inadequate for going up against Elven armour, but it was perfectly suited for being jammed in the collarbone of a Hobbit 'merc, without calling too much attention to it's owner. His XO, "Camel" Khamul had used a similar weapon in numerous CoIN missions in North Gondor, where he had been sent to disrupt "Elrond's" supply fellowships sneaking down the Is-ild-ur trail.
The KotN smiled, even without a head. This mission was almost going to be a mead-run. Taking out a squad of sleeping halflings was going to be easier than slaying Wyvyrns sitting on a tarmac...

-Hunt for the Ring, Tom Clancy


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Mark Twain 
Friday, December 14, 2007, 02:56 PM - quoteFoo

"I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

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I want this on a T-Shirt 
Friday, December 14, 2007, 02:56 PM - blogFoo



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Groucho Marx 
Friday, December 14, 2007, 02:54 PM - quoteFoo

"I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it."


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All your Base 
Friday, December 14, 2007, 02:53 PM - blogFoo

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P. T. Barnum Economics 
Friday, December 14, 2007, 02:52 PM - blogFoo
Found on the Internet:



I know Barnum was never actually quoted as saying this , but it has fallen into accepted usage.


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Winston Churchill 
Wednesday, December 5, 2007, 01:11 PM - quoteFoo

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”


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American Interventionism 
Thursday, November 8, 2007, 09:15 AM - politiFoo
Great comment from Coob over at Reddit:


A non-interventionist US foreign policy will throw the world into either an uncertain and terrifying place, or one dominated by a power whose influence would be far worse than current perceptions of US hegemony.

American intervention is the reason I speak English and not German, it is what has stopped genocide, it is what has toppled repressed dictators and it is what has defeated both fascism and communism.



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Fred Thompson 
Monday, November 5, 2007, 07:48 AM - quoteFoo

After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood.

-Speech given before the Commonwealth Club of California

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